What is sexy? Everyone has their own idea of what drives them wild with desire or makes them fantasize about the 7-11clerk as he cleans the Slurpee™ machine.
I mean…no, wait. That’s what I meant.
What makes a hero or a villain? That, too, is very subjective to the individual. I always root for Dracula every time I watch one of his movies. More often than not I would rather see the evil monster win over his/her human rivals.
So I have come up with a list of my favorite sexy heroes and villains of the horror world. Yours will most likely differ from mine. You men out there, feel free to post an article with your heroines and villainesses. Villainettes? Or maybe I’ll just write my own womanly version. Hey, I can appreciate a good set of boobs, too, you know.
In the meantime, ladies, enjoy my humble offerings. They are in no particular order as I think all of them are equally delicious and nutritious.
Wesley Snipes as Blade in “Blade”. Half vampire/half human kick ass slayer and all yummy. Blade is a bit of a tortured guy, more of a reluctant hero. But there’s no doubt that what he does saves a lot of people.
Jensen Ackles/Jared Padelecki as Dean and Sam Winchester in “Supernatural”. You know how guys have the whole “sisters” fantasy? Well ladies, here’s our version wrapped nicely in a “how the heck did one family get so many of the good-looking genes” package. Can’t decide which guy is more delectable? I have one word for you: sandwich.
Scott Speedman as Michael Corvin in “Underworld”. Another half-breed, werewolf and vampire this time. Seriously, the powers of two supernatural species kicks up his sexy factor by 100! Who cares if he’s blue?
Oded Fehr as Andeth Bay in “The Mummy”. This swarthy protector looks great in black, has tattoos, and can handle a sword like it’s another appendage. Plus he doesn’t speak much. Perfect.
Jack Nicholson as Will Randall in “Wolf”. This character starts out more of a victim but once he gains the power of the lycanthrope, he puts all his doubts and anxieties aside and starts marking his territory. Yeah sometimes he looks half nuts but as a wolf, all I can say is, “woof!”
Bruce Campbell as Ash in the “Army of Darkness”. Gotta love the buff bod and increased smart-ass quotient. Sure, Ash holds on to his cowardice for a while but when the beautiful damsel falls into the clutches of the Deadites, he rocks the gun show all over their skeletal asses.
David Boreanaz as Angel in “Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel”. Sometimes the tortured vampires come off as whiny and irritating. But the tall, dark, and brooding nature of Angel is rather endearing and makes me want to comfort him. All. Night. Long.
Keanu Reeves as John Constantine in “Constantine”. John is a bit of a selfish prick but c’mon, people. The man is just beautiful. I’d get possessed by a demon just so he would come exorcise me.
Luke Evans as Dracula/Vlad in “Dracula Untold”. Yes, I view him as a hero in this movie because the choices he makes are for love of family and country. Just because one of the great lines he delivers is, “Sometimes the people don’t need a hero; they need a monster”, still doesn’t make him a bad guy. Stop arguing with me. LALALALALALA! I can’t hear you!
Andrew Lincoln as Rick in “The Walking Dead”. I know, I know. Daryl is awesome, too. But there’s just something about Rick, as a leader, a fighter, and a loving family man, that gets me right in the feelz. And when he decides to go all ice man killer on a walker (or even a human that just gets a bit too uppity in his face) I get a little gooey on the inside. And maybe a bit in my pants.
Gary Oldman as Dracula in “Bram Stoker’s Dracula”. Now in this movie, Dracula is every bit the bad guy. They bury his motivations behind his love of Elizabeta but I call bullshit. Selfishness drives everything he does. However, every time I hear him tell Mina, “I am your servant”, I melt into my Underoos.
Michael Sheen as Lucian in “Underworld”. This tortured- past werewolf can cry on my shoulder anytime. I shoot him full of silver bullets just to watch him rip off his clothes to expel them.
Nigel Bennett as LaCroix in “Forever Knight”. He may have ended up a decent immortal by the end of the series but more often than not, he was a terrifyingly powerful vampire out to serve his own interests. Anyone who doesn’t get chills when listening to his smooth vampire baritone needs to have their hearing checked.
Malcolm McDowell as Paul Gallier in “Cat People”. Sure he wanted to sleep with his sister but can we really hold that against him? Mee-ow.
Chris Sarandon as Jerry Dandridge in “Fright Knight”. Gods I wish my neighbors would move so I could have this vampire living next to me. I’d be staring out my window every night not to see if he’s up to no good but to get his attention and invite him into my house!
James Marsters as Spike in “Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel”. All cockney Brit, Sex Pistols energy vamp. Even though BTVS got mega lame by season 5 ½ (I’m looking at YOU, Dawn), the sex between him and Buffy is what revitalized the series for me. Who doesn’t want to knock boots with a well-toned vampire that brings the house down, literally?
Sasha Roiz as Captain Renard in “Grimm”. Right now the Captain could be seen as a good guy, as he’s working on the same side as the main hero, Nick. But I know, deep inside his Hexenbeast half-breed heart, he’s got plans for his own betterment. And if that involves more shirtless rages, sign me up for Team Renard! Actually, if he just walked around all the time without a shirt, I’d be happy.
Kiefer Sutherland as David in “The Lost Boys”. Before “24” and “Young Guns” and “Flatliners”, there was this boyishly handsome vampire with a predator edge. Though his compadres wore more colorful 1980s gauche fashion, David was simply beautiful in all black with his contrasting platinum blond hair. Commanding, smooth, and pure evil.
Matthew McConaughey as Fenton Meiks in “Frailty”. My only human villain but if he told me to going around killing my neighbors because they were part of “them”, no questions would be asked.
Mark Sheppard as Crowley in “Supernatural”. Maybe it’s the British accent. Perhaps it’s the little twinkle in his eye every time he acquires a soul. Most likely I adore Crowley because he’s a complete power-hungry, slightly insane smart ass who delights in getting his way no matter the cost. King of Hell? King of my heart is more like it.
HERO/VILLAIN HONORABLE MENTION
Vincent Price in everything he’s ever done. I can only think of one man who can qualify in both categories. His presence in any film demands attention whether he’s a tortured well- meaning good guy or Satan’s lap dog. I’ve been in love with this man from the first time I ever set eyes on him. And though he’s gone now, I’ll always keep him close to my heart.