I was given my copy of ReelGore Releasing’s newest movie “The Curse of Doctor Wolffenstein” a few weeks ago and it seems that it had fallen to the bottom of my must watch list which is why this review is a little late. But I mean if you are a fellow horror/genre fan, can you blame me? Have you noticed how many amazing and classic releases have been coming out in the past few weeks from everyone from Scream Factory,Arrow Video, Synapse films all the way down to Severin and Vinegar Syndrome??? Everyone lately seems to be pulling out the big guns and putting out their top releases for the holiday season. So I feel like it’s excusable that I’m a little late with this one.
So it’s Thanksgiving and where as most people are looking at the tube for Santa Claus to close out the parade, or maybe two teams toss a pigskin around, I’m looking for horror.”The Curse Of Doctor Wolffenstein” just like the two other releases from ReelGore Releasing (Violent Shit:The Movie, Masks) hails from the country of Germany, so that means subtitles and judging from the cover art, I’m also in for a lot of blood. Hopefully that Turkey won’t be the only thing tonight that’s getting carved.
The movie opens up in the past and introduces you to the evil Doctor Wolffenstein, who conducts these experiments on random victims he kidnaps and dismembers to help him find a way to immortality. Eventually the townspeople gear up with pitchforks and such, and hunt him down to get their revenge and kill the Doctor. Or so they think, seeing as once he is buried the good Doctor comes crawling out of the grave to bring back his experiments and lead us right into the opening credits.
After the opening credits the movie begins and you meet our main characters, two guys that are roommates and three girls that include one of the guys girlfriends, a family member and a romantic interest for the other guy. Pretty normal stuff here for a horror movie, all we are missing is a cabin in the woods.
You come to find out that they are all road tripping to go to a concert or rave or whatever. It doesn’t matter, because as the audience we all know that they won’t make it there, right? Right.
The movie definitely delivers on the blood, guts and practical effects. It’s hard to actually turn away or run to the fridge for a drink without coming back and having the screen filled with someone getting hacked to pieces or a machete to the head. Seriously, I think about 25 people get a Machete to the forehead and have an excessive amount of blood shoot out all over the good Doctor all to a loud and fast punk rock soundtrack. The problem I have with that is once you’ve seen it the first 15 times, the next hundred or so seem a little redundant and I don’t know about you, but I would love something new and fresh. That’s not to say that there’s not some interesting kills or anything here, but most of which just seem to fall into the whole Torture Porn category/genre. Most of the victims we see getting the short end of the stick are just there to show you a bunch of blood and guts and really didn’t add much to the story, you don’t feel anything for these people dying. They are just there and they don’t tell you how they got there. Once or twice would’ve been fine with me but by the 23rd time I’m seeing someone I’ve never seen in the movie before get stripped of their clothing and hacked up, it gets old.
I know it might sound like I’m being ridiculous by saying these outrageously high numbers but that’s not a lie, it really is that many times that you see the same machete to the head gag. I know its low budget and they wanted to pack this movie full of gore but I would’ve loved to trade in about 75% of that blood (believe me there would still be tons left) and guts and add some suspense and some tension to the story.
Also I feel like this movie could use a little trimming in the length of it all coming it just shy of two hours long. This movie honestly needed to be around the 85 minute mark. If you want to watch a dull story with a lot of great practical effects and naked girls get tortured this one might be for you, but if its gore and a good story you want, try going for the classics and grabbing Peter Jackson’s “Dead Alive” (Braindead) or Sam Raimi’s “Evil Dead 2” otherwise I suggest leaving this one alone.
- About 35 “Machete to the skull” scenes
- 3 or 4 knifes to the eye
- Naked girl diarrhea
- Arm dismemberment
- Numerous “bloody vomit” scenes
- Numerous “Why isn’t this girl screaming for her life” scenes
- Full frontal female nudity
- Full frontal male nudity
- Weird white slime/goo that looks like it’s from Larry Cohens “The Stuff”
- Crazy slug monster thing that doesn’t get explained
- A small club scene with a German dance called “Jump Style” (YouTube jump style to see what I’m talking about, think aggressive river dancing but trying to be hip hop about it)