Movie Review: Love and Air Sex

In Movies by Some Jerk From Boston0 Comments

A man needs a hobby. I have several. Take this past weekend for example. I went to a gaming convention (that will remain nameless) where I spent $42.24 on passes for Saturday and Sunday, along with something called a “board game pass” for each day. This wasn’t my first time going to a convention like this; I’ve been to plenty before, and I usually have a good time. I can honestly say that before this experience, I’ve never had to spend $42.24 to go fuck myself.

Apparently, the people running it only had one of everything and if you didn’t know exactly what you wanted to play before the convention, as in months before the convention, and reserved a spot, well, good luck not looking like a creepy stalker! I spent around nine hours wandering around asking everyone if there’s an opening for a single male in his late twenties alone at a place primarily filled with forty somethings and their children. Every time I enetered the game room I expected a well dressed gentleman to ask me to take a seat and ask me who I was there to see. When I wasn’t in the deathglare of middle aged men and women dressed like fat Viking whores, I spent hours in the hotel lobby browsing every NSFW website I could find with the hopes of giving every fucktard that walked by either depression or nightmares (go to reddit.com/r/spacedicks; you don’t have to look at it to browse it!).

You could say that I didn’t have a good time.

During this seething (and occasionally arousing) display of passive aggressive behavior, I managed to watch Love and Air Sex. The idea of a quirky romantic comedy about sex on airplanes appealed to me, since if I didn’t calm myself down, I’d end up rage fucking a sandwich in the lobby’s fountain (five bucks well spent, if you ask me).

If you’ve already seen the movie, then why are you reading this? Fuck off and type up your own opinion! For everyone else, you should know that this movie has nothing to do with the aeronautics industry. You probably think it’s ridiculous that I have to point it out (not nearly as ridiculous as writing it, believe  me), but “Air Sex” is actually different than having a penis enter a vagina in a bathroom stall at forty thousand feet. “Air Sex” is about pantomiming sexual acts with someone who isn’t there. In other words, they fuck the nothing in front of them.

It’s an odd concept for a movie, but hey, like I said, everyone needs a hobby. Believe it or not, it works. The whole film is grounded in this strange, absurd world of making obscene gestures in front of a room full of people. Going to an air sex competition may be a strange way to spend a Saturday night, but the people getting up on that stage to hump the air and pretend to blow themselves are completely relatable. Yeah, it’s another weird thing to hear. Time to get

over it.

Beyond the strange setting is a fairly familiar story. Girl and boy dated for a long time, fell deeply in love, but ended up splitting apart. When the boy sees that the girl is going to be visiting their old stomping ground, he sets off to make a last ditch effort to get her back. From here, the story takes fun little twists and turns to make it stand on it’s own.

Complicating our main character’s plan is the fact that the person he’s chasing is staying with a mutual friend…who broke up with another mutual friend… the very one he’s staying with…which sounds like the b-plot to a cheesy soap opera, but while you’re watching it, the progression feels natural (sadly, there’s no past characters who are pregnant reincarnations of the devil). I was expecting the film to tread into overly familiar territory, and it does in a few ways, but it never forces the situation. At no point was I left cringing because someone pulled a Steve Carell moment where they had to keep embarrassing themselves until the scene mercifully ended. Love and Air Sex had plenty of opportunities to do this, but lucky for me, it’s too smart to let that shit happen.

The script by Bryan Poyser may be a little too overt for some (meaning that a prude will hate this movie because of how disgusting they find air fucking, and their date/spouse will hate they movie because they don’t want to confess to finding it sexy), but it’s sharp. The characters feel like real people with real problems, and at no point did their reactions to a difficult situation make me want to chuck my phone at the John Waters looking motherfucker behind the bar who wouldn’t give me the fucking glass of water I asked for (c’mon asshole! you’re not even asking if I want another beer with it, which I totally do! and who puts chili in an edible bowl?!? do some fucking dishes!)!

Good writing does nothing if the people spewing the lines are complete mongoloids (wait, did I mean morlocks? no, mongoloids, the offensive one). Luckily, Love and Air Sex has a stellar cast that made me believe that they could be my next door neighbor. This may not seem like a revelation to you, but if you’ve seen as many bad movies as I have (insert shameless plug for my show, What Did I Just Watch? here), then you know that somehow actual human beings forget how to act human once someone yells ‘action’. Each character brings something to the table, whether it’s the ‘straight man out of his comfort zone’ Stan (Michael Stahl-David), or the ‘wild and protective’ Kara (Sara Paxton), no situation is easy to maneuver, nor can the torrent of emotions be quelled with a simple line of dialogue (which happens so often in comedies that whenever I hear “What were you saying?” “…nothing.” in a movie, my mind switches off and I revert to my animalistic nature…at least that’s my excuse whenever I get caught masturbating in the theater).

At this point, I’d like to give a big shout out to Ashley Bell, who played Cathy, and Zach Cregger, who played Jeff. These two also did an amazing job and I wanted to include them in my character breakdown, but the internet fucked up and I couldn’t remember their names. It’s back up, but now I’m too lazy to rework the paragraph, so fuck it.

When I was at my lowest point during the convention (between making the people running the booth’s uncomfortable and hotel security watching me like I’m some sort of child kidnapper) this film brought me back up. Enjoying a movie when you’re in a bad mood is hard. Hell, I was pissed off when I saw Snatch in theaters; telling my friends that it was only ‘okay’. That was fucking Snatch. I can only imagine this movie only getting better on repeat viewings under optimal conditions (post blowjob, pre-sandwich would be ideal). If you don’t mind the crude, the vulgar, or the obscene, you’ll find this movie to be a good time. Not a ‘I’ve got to prioritize this shit over Breaking Bad‘ good time, but rather a ‘the movie we wanted to see just started, but

whenever I hear “What were you saying?” “…nothing.” in a movie, my mind switches off and I revert to my animalistic nature…at least that’s my excuse whenever I get caught masturbating in the theater).

At this point, I’d like to give a big shout out to Ashley Bell, who played Cathy, and Zach Cregger, who played Jeff. These two also did an amazing job and I wanted to include them in my character breakdown, but the internet fucked up and I couldn’t remember their names. It’s back up, but now I’m too lazy to rework the paragraph, so fuck it.

When I was at my lowest point during the convention (between making the people running the booth’s uncomfortable and hotel security watching me like I’m some sort of child kidnapper) this film brought me back up. Enjoying a movie when you’re in a bad mood is hard. Hell, I was pissed off when I saw Snatch in theaters; telling my friends that it was only ‘okay’. That was fucking Snatch. I can only imagine this movie only getting better on repeat viewings under optimal conditions (post blowjob, pre-sandwich would be ideal). If you don’t mind the crude, the vulgar, or the obscene, you’ll find this movie to be a good time. Not a ‘I’ve got to prioritize this shit over Breaking Bad‘ good time, but rather a ‘the movie we wanted to see just started, but let’s check this out’ good time.

Please follow and like us: