MOVIE REVIEW: Bloodsucking Bastards

In Movies by Bub SmithLeave a Comment

Horror/comedy are my two favorite genres and I’m pretty sure that goes for most genre fans. It takes a precise level of weirdo to enjoy watching people be dismembered. It takes a truly twisted weirdo to laugh at it. I’m not judging (well I am, but not because of your taste in movies. It’s mostly the offensive body odor…) I  am right in with this group and love a good horror/comedy. Nothing better than laughing at some poor sap who is getting a meat clever driven right into their skull and blood is spraying on a bystander who doesn’t have the good sense to move slightly to left. Of course this mash-up only works if done correctly. How exactly this is done I don’t have a clue (never claimed to be a film maker!), but I do have a list of movies that have walked this fine line and made horror and comedy work (ie: Shawn of the Dead, Bubba Ho-Tep, Slither … ). So when I sat down with Bloodsucking Bastards I went into it ready to compare it to the greats. So did it match up to these great flicks? Hard to tell. 15 minutes in I was laughing to hard to really care about comparing it to anything.


Evan (Fran Kranz) is an overworked and loyal worker at a soul suckingnameless cubicle -telephone-sales-company. He is surrounded by slackers and burnouts who care more about playing video games and surfing internet porn ( Something about these fellas that I really connected with) than doing their jobs. Having been recently dumped by his co-worker/girl friend Amanda (Emma Fitzpatrick), Evan’s week goes from bad to “Shit! This effin’ blows” when his boss, Ted (Joel Murray) gives his well deserved promotion to Evan’s old college rival Max. We all know that Max is a vampire and slowly all of Evan’s co-workers turn into vampires and it’s up to Evan and his slacker best friend Tim (Joey Kern) to save the woman he loves and the job he…doesn’t want to lose…

Fran Kranz plays the push over with a heart of gold to a T. Last I saw of him he was playing the wisecracking stoner in Cabin in the Woods. A part he nailed with such excellence I assumed he would always play the stoner best friend. Type casting be damned! Kranz proves he can carry a movie and be the straight guy. With every great straight comes the funny guy and Joey Kern is up this part. Kern proves he is a role away (possibly this one…) from being a big name in the comedy world. His comedic timing is perfect and is a big part of why the comedy works. Seriously, why isn’t this guy in more things!


Bloodsucking Bastards is a funny movie when the jokes land. For the most part laughed throughout the entire film, but I feel I should say I still think farts are funny. Not sure if that adds or takes away my credibility, but hey, that’s more warning than I give most sexual partners (not because I have VD, I’m just really selfish lover…). It’s clear that director Brian O’Connell has an eye for humor and he knows exactly how to extract it out of most situations no matter how mundane or over-top. Given the subject matter  (Vampires taking over an office) over the top should be easy.

Even though the movie is heavy on the laughs this doesn’t take away from the horror. And speaking of horror O’Connell delivers the gore in heaps. No real stand out moments, but you can rest assure that by the end of the movie we get the works. Exploding vamps, decapitations and the cast is showering in blood by the end of the movie. Even with no big money shot, all the effects look great and I didn’t catch a single stitch of CGI. Keeping things practical goes a long way with this horror nut and always helps score  a few extra points.

Bloodsucking Bastards is the funniest movie of the year. I know it’s only February and yeah I’ve only see 3 comedies ( yes that’s including this one). But I will be goddamned if another one is going to come along that will top this. Although I did hear Adam Sandler has a new one coming out… Who am I kidding. I doubt he will show this many exploding vampires in his flick.

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