Look, I like bad movies. I’ve talked about it numerous times on here. Give me a half-baked plot and Walmart special effects edited on $300 laptop-I’m there. Actors who are better suited to sell copiers, playing the leads-I’m there. And despite my what I thought was a bottomless pit of affection for these kinds of movies, couldn’t find room to stomach Blood Trap.
While I can appreciate the ode to throwback Hammer and Corman films I believe Blood Trap is trying to emulate. It’s tedious script and poor execution suck any fun from this flick.
The setup of Blood Trap isn’t awful. A group of cons led by a recently retired prison warden (Costas Mandylor,Saw, Horde) bust into the Italian villa of a notorious mob boss intent on kidnapping his only daughter. Once inside everything goes to crap quickly when the mansion lockdown trapping the crew inside. To make matters worse they quickly discover that kingpins kin is a junkie vampire thats turned herself into an incubator. The fun ensues as the vampriss knocks off her attackers one by one and even manages to force the “good-looking guy” into in swapping body fluids.
Outside of a flying bloodsucking baby (as good as it sounds) I don’t think I winced in excitement once during the viewing. I just keep thinking Costas Mandylor and Vinnie Jones are better than this. Oh, yah Vinnie Jones the mean mother from Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels arrives just long enough to collect a check.
I was with Costas in the image above the entire flick.
“Why did I agree to this?”
“It’s not worth it!”
“Goodbye cruel world.”
If Blood Trap does find an audience please let it be a tribe in the Amazon that’s never seen a movie, ever. That way they’d never know what a dumpster fire Blood Trap is.