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What Did I Just Watch Ep13: The Traveler

Martin, Paul, Chris, and Matt discuss how decent ideas executed poorly make those decent ideas seem stupid, why close ups of Val Kilmer’s lips is off putting for the wrong reason, and how a normally two star b-movie can be so much worse. THIS PODCAST AND ALL SJP PODCASTS ARE SPONSORED BY DETROIT BEARD COLLECTIVE AND DEAD WORLD ZOMBIE SODA! …

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What Did I Just Watch Ep10: The Adventures of Food Boy

Martin, Paul, and Charlie discuss how a wonderful gift can be squandered by a whiney teenager, how a movie deeply rooted in white privilege can be racist, and how a cut and paste story can become dark behind the scenes. THIS PODCAST AND ALL SJP PODCASTS ARE SPONSORED BY DETROIT BEARD COLLECTIVE AND DEAD WORLD ZOMBIE SODA! Please follow and …

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MOVIE REVIEW – The Offering

I may be crude, crass, and cuss a lot, but if it’s one thing I try to do it’s manage my language to make sure that I’m not juvenile in my critique. “Critique” is the most important factor here. It’s not easy to articulate opinions in a way that will connect with everyone, especially for 1000+ words. The “whys” are …

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MOVIE REVIEW – Bleed

When you see enough of a specific type of movie, you can spot certain cues that will set your expectations. I’ve seen my fair share of horror movies, so I’d like to think that I can figure out what I’m getting myself into. If the film I’m watching decides that they need to throw a jump scare five minutes in, …

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MOVIE REVIEW – The Corpse of Anna Fritz

Before I get into the review, I would like to bring up something that’s a little unprofessional. I was asked to mention that ‘The Corpse of Anna Fritz’ is going to be exclusive to a site called FlingFlix.com. It looks like a site where you can stream movies via a monthly subscription, or individually by renting. I get why they …

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MOVIE REVIEW – Hell and Back

I was not looking forward to this one. After a streak of some pretty decent movies, this lands in my inbox. ‘Hell and Back’ is an R rated animated comedy starring Nick Swardson, the guy who lands roles in award winning movies such as ‘Bolt’, ‘You Don’t Mess With the Zohan’, ‘Jack and Jill, ‘A Haunted House’, and of course …

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MOVIE REVIEW – The Wannabe

Out of all the movies about organized crime in movie history, what’s your favorite gangster moment? Is it when Sonny Corleone is gunned down at the toll booth in ‘The Godfather’?? How about when Tommy goes on his “Do I look funny to you?” rant before beating a man in ‘Goodfellas’? Or how about the one man stand off at …

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MOVIE REVIEW – Uncle Nick

I’m a fucked up man, so I LOVE dark comedies. I’m also sweet, sugary, and sentimental underneath all this alcohol and anger, so it’s no surprise that I love Christmas. Combining the two is like being drunk and disorderly in a crowded Christmas Tree Shop (which is awesome). Dark Christmas comedies are the staples of this holiday season for me. …

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MOVIE REVIEW – The Funhouse Massacre

What do you want out of a horror movie? Since the whole point of horror is to cause fear, it should at least scare you, right? If scares is the only factor, then you’d have to reclassify a shit load of genre films that no longer qualify. While something like ‘Dead Alive’ could be reclassified as a comedy, something like …

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MOVIE REVIEW – Naciye

Aren’t chocolate chip cookies great? Really simple to make too! Mix together flour, baking soda, butter, vanilla, white and brown sugar, a little bit of salt, a couple of eggs, and of course chocolate chips, and bake. Easiest thing in the world, right? How could you fuck up throwing a bunch of shit in a bowl and making it hot? …

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MOVIE REVIEW – Manson Family Vacation

Long ago, in the long dark period that was my blogging days, I wrote an article about people’s obsession with serial killers. It was my attempt to reconcile the reasons a marketplace exists for media about serial killers, unsolved murders, mafia hits, and the like. Most of the comments agreed with my thesis, though they themselves claimed that they were …

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MOVIE REVIEW – The Boy

Some movies are difficult to recommend. It’s not that they are bad by any stretch of the imagination, it’s that they explore something so specific that unless the viewer is in the right frame of mind, and actually looking for this certain type of movie, they’ll end up dismissing what is otherwise a good movie. Oftentimes, when I’m bashing a …

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MOVIE REVIEW: Charlie, Trevor, and a Girl Savannah

In life, we need to strike a balance. We need time to think, time to love, time to have fun, work our bodies, be social, be ourselves, yet despite needing all these things, we can’t do everything at the same time. How can we do everything to BE the person we want to be? Artists and philosophers delve into this …

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MOVIE REVIEW – The Nightmare

Do you enjoy listening to your friends and loved ones describing the dreams they have each night? No? Oh, well then, that was fast. Wrap it up people! The review is over! No need to drag this one out!   EDIT: I was just informed by the higher ups at Slack Jaw Punks that I’m not allowed to quit a …

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MOVIE REVIEW – Infini

The quality of films I usually review can be quite…what’s the nicest way to say it? Lacking. Shit-tastically fucktarded is another way. When Bub gave me ‘Infini’ to review, I was actually amazed. This was not our usual VOD faire. This movie seemed legit! For one, it had an actual theatrical release date (not that I was going to be …

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MOVIE REVIEW – 1915

Taking on any serious topic should not be done lightly. Massacres, genocides, anything involving the targeted death of a demographic carry for generations. Children hear the hellish stories from their parents and grandparents as a way to warn and protect them; to let them know that while they are safe at the moment, one day they may be targeted again. …