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What Did I Just Watch Ep13: The Traveler

In Podcasts, What Did I Just Watch by Some Jerk From Boston0 Comments

Martin, Paul, Chris, and Matt discuss how decent ideas executed poorly make those decent ideas seem stupid, why close ups of Val Kilmer’s lips is off putting for the wrong reason, and how a normally two star b-movie can be so much worse. THIS PODCAST AND ALL SJP PODCASTS ARE SPONSORED BY DETROIT BEARD COLLECTIVE AND DEAD WORLD ZOMBIE SODA! …

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What Did I Just Watch Ep10: The Adventures of Food Boy

In Podcasts, What Did I Just Watch by Some Jerk From Boston0 Comments

Martin, Paul, and Charlie discuss how a wonderful gift can be squandered by a whiney teenager, how a movie deeply rooted in white privilege can be racist, and how a cut and paste story can become dark behind the scenes. THIS PODCAST AND ALL SJP PODCASTS ARE SPONSORED BY DETROIT BEARD COLLECTIVE AND DEAD WORLD ZOMBIE SODA!

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MOVIE REVIEW – The Offering

In Movies, Reviews by Some Jerk From Boston0 Comments

I may be crude, crass, and cuss a lot, but if it’s one thing I try to do it’s manage my language to make sure that I’m not juvenile in my critique. “Critique” is the most important factor here. It’s not easy to articulate opinions in a way that will connect with everyone, especially for 1000+ words. The “whys” are …

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MOVIE REVIEW – Bleed

In Movies, Reviews by Some Jerk From Boston0 Comments

When you see enough of a specific type of movie, you can spot certain cues that will set your expectations. I’ve seen my fair share of horror movies, so I’d like to think that I can figure out what I’m getting myself into. If the film I’m watching decides that they need to throw a jump scare five minutes in, …

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MOVIE REVIEW – The Corpse of Anna Fritz

In Movies, Reviews by Some Jerk From Boston0 Comments

Before I get into the review, I would like to bring up something that’s a little unprofessional. I was asked to mention that ‘The Corpse of Anna Fritz’ is going to be exclusive to a site called FlingFlix.com. It looks like a site where you can stream movies via a monthly subscription, or individually by renting. I get why they …

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MOVIE REVIEW – Hell and Back

In Movies, Reviews by Some Jerk From Boston0 Comments

I was not looking forward to this one. After a streak of some pretty decent movies, this lands in my inbox. ‘Hell and Back’ is an R rated animated comedy starring Nick Swardson, the guy who lands roles in award winning movies such as ‘Bolt’, ‘You Don’t Mess With the Zohan’, ‘Jack and Jill, ‘A Haunted House’, and of course …

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MOVIE REVIEW – The Wannabe

In Movies, Reviews by Some Jerk From Boston0 Comments

Out of all the movies about organized crime in movie history, what’s your favorite gangster moment? Is it when Sonny Corleone is gunned down at the toll booth in ‘The Godfather’?? How about when Tommy goes on his “Do I look funny to you?” rant before beating a man in ‘Goodfellas’? Or how about the one man stand off at …

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MOVIE REVIEW – Uncle Nick

In Movies, Reviews by Some Jerk From Boston0 Comments

I’m a fucked up man, so I LOVE dark comedies. I’m also sweet, sugary, and sentimental underneath all this alcohol and anger, so it’s no surprise that I love Christmas. Combining the two is like being drunk and disorderly in a crowded Christmas Tree Shop (which is awesome). Dark Christmas comedies are the staples of this holiday season for me. …

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MOVIE REVIEW – The Funhouse Massacre

In Movies, Reviews by Some Jerk From Boston0 Comments

What do you want out of a horror movie? Since the whole point of horror is to cause fear, it should at least scare you, right? If scares is the only factor, then you’d have to reclassify a shit load of genre films that no longer qualify. While something like ‘Dead Alive’ could be reclassified as a comedy, something like …

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MOVIE REVIEW – Naciye

In Movies, Reviews by Some Jerk From Boston0 Comments

Aren’t chocolate chip cookies great? Really simple to make too! Mix together flour, baking soda, butter, vanilla, white and brown sugar, a little bit of salt, a couple of eggs, and of course chocolate chips, and bake. Easiest thing in the world, right? How could you fuck up throwing a bunch of shit in a bowl and making it hot? …

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MOVIE REVIEW – Manson Family Vacation

In Movies, Reviews by Some Jerk From Boston0 Comments

Long ago, in the long dark period that was my blogging days, I wrote an article about people’s obsession with serial killers. It was my attempt to reconcile the reasons a marketplace exists for media about serial killers, unsolved murders, mafia hits, and the like. Most of the comments agreed with my thesis, though they themselves claimed that they were …

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MOVIE REVIEW – The Boy

In Movies, Reviews by Some Jerk From Boston0 Comments

Some movies are difficult to recommend. It’s not that they are bad by any stretch of the imagination, it’s that they explore something so specific that unless the viewer is in the right frame of mind, and actually looking for this certain type of movie, they’ll end up dismissing what is otherwise a good movie. Oftentimes, when I’m bashing a …

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MOVIE REVIEW: Charlie, Trevor, and a Girl Savannah

In Movies, Reviews by Some Jerk From Boston0 Comments

In life, we need to strike a balance. We need time to think, time to love, time to have fun, work our bodies, be social, be ourselves, yet despite needing all these things, we can’t do everything at the same time. How can we do everything to BE the person we want to be? Artists and philosophers delve into this …

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MOVIE REVIEW – The Nightmare

In Movies, Reviews by Some Jerk From Boston0 Comments

Do you enjoy listening to your friends and loved ones describing the dreams they have each night? No? Oh, well then, that was fast. Wrap it up people! The review is over! No need to drag this one out!   EDIT: I was just informed by the higher ups at Slack Jaw Punks that I’m not allowed to quit a …

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MOVIE REVIEW – Infini

In Movies, Reviews by Some Jerk From Boston8 Comments

The quality of films I usually review can be quite…what’s the nicest way to say it? Lacking. Shit-tastically fucktarded is another way. When Bub gave me ‘Infini’ to review, I was actually amazed. This was not our usual VOD faire. This movie seemed legit! For one, it had an actual theatrical release date (not that I was going to be …

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MOVIE REVIEW – 1915

In Movies, Reviews by Some Jerk From Boston0 Comments

Taking on any serious topic should not be done lightly. Massacres, genocides, anything involving the targeted death of a demographic carry for generations. Children hear the hellish stories from their parents and grandparents as a way to warn and protect them; to let them know that while they are safe at the moment, one day they may be targeted again. …

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MOVIE REVIEW – VANish

In Movies by Some Jerk From Boston0 Comments

I don’t know their names, but there are three men who come by my house week after week doing a job that most worst consider vile on their best day. The trash bins they unload into their trucks are often heavy and unwieldy; the bags within split and leaking. In my neighborhood, there’s no limit to what can be thrown …

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VIDEO GAME REVIEW – Don’t Starve Together

In Random Rants, Video Games by Some Jerk From Boston0 Comments

“Oh shit!” I cried into the mic. “I’m a spooky ghost! Those fuckin’ spiders killed me! I thought there were only three of them!” “I can make a tell tale heart if I get one more thing from those spiders!” My buddy told me. “They did drop a spider gland. Is that what you need?” “Show me where you are!” …

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MOVIE REVIEW: Le Fear 2: Le Sequel

In Movies by Some Jerk From Boston0 Comments

I was visiting family in their lovely new home when I received the screener for Le Fear 2: The Sequel from the Slack Jaw Punks. It sat there on my laptop while I explored the gardens on the grounds. I took my time, noting where the gardens were planted, comparing the empty plots to the explosion of colors and varieties …

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MOVIE REVIEW: The Sacrament

In Movies by Some Jerk From Boston0 Comments

Some sentences, once heard, immediately make you want to put a pistol in your mouth to reset the memory. “‘The Sacrament’ is a direct to Netflix found footage horror movie produced by Eli Roth” had me cocking the hammer and fidgeting with the trigger worse than Martin Riggs in ‘Lethal Weapon’. Everything about that film’s description is horrible. It’s the …

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SJFB’s Misadventures at Walker Stalker Con (Pt.1)

In Interviews, TV by Some Jerk From Boston0 Comments

On June 13th – 15th, Boston fans of AMC’s The Walking Dead got a hell of a treat when Walker Stalker Con came to the area. You may be asking yourself, “this was, like, almost two months ago, why the fuck is he talking about it now?!?” The answer is simple. Walker-Stalker Con is an ongoing convention that you can still …

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Movie Review: Snowpiercer

In Movies by Some Jerk From Boston2 Comments

There’s been a question rolling around this skull of mine ever since I heard that Snowpiercer wasn’t getting more than a limited release in American theaters: why (it being so short is probably why I remembered, what with my usual memory wipe via alcohol and all)? I saw the trailer and it looked amazing! It was a high concept, imaginative …

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MOVIE REVIEW: Lucky Bastard

In Movies by Some Jerk From Boston0 Comments

Lucky Bastard is a baffling movie. This is a found footage movie, but doesn’t use any of the advantages that come with the genre. It’s a horror/stalker movie that takes it’s goddamn time getting to the part where the antagonist does any antagonizing. There’s lots of explicit nudity, but it starts censoring itself when it reaches Lars Von Trier levels …

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MOVIE REVIEW: I Am A Ghost

In Movies by Some Jerk From Boston0 Comments

 When I was much younger, I loved reading about anything and everything about ghosts. It was such a sexy subject. I was enticed by the wide range of feelings such a being could invoke in people. Some would cause dread, some inspired hope or relief in those looking for closure…some had ghost pets they believed were the companion animals from …

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MOVIE REVIEW: Holy Ghost People

In Movies by Some Jerk From Boston0 Comments

I really need to stop misinterpreting the titles of the movies I’m given to review. My gut reaction to getting Holy Ghost-People was utter excitement. Was this going to be the wacky misadventures of a ghost who couldn’t shake his past Catholicism? Or could it be a horror movie about paranormal investigators cleaning a church of all it’s past preachers?!? …

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Movie Review: Love and Air Sex

In Movies by Some Jerk From Boston0 Comments

A man needs a hobby. I have several. Take this past weekend for example. I went to a gaming convention (that will remain nameless) where I spent $42.24 on passes for Saturday and Sunday, along with something called a “board game pass” for each day. This wasn’t my first time going to a convention like this; I’ve been to plenty …

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MOVIE REVIEW: Motivational Growth

In Movies by Some Jerk From Boston0 Comments

RATING: Is your mold talking to you? Time to switch to a stronger bleach! Before you start watching a movie, you need to ask yourself why you’re watching what you’re watching. No one just watches a movie, as much as some might believe. That would be like going to ‘restaurant’ to eat ‘food’. If you went into an Italian joint …

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MOVIE REVIEW: Underdogs

In Movies by Some Jerk From Boston0 Comments

RATING: I have an invention that can- FOOTBALL! FOOTBALL! FOOTBALL! The heart of ‘Underdogs’ is a charming story. It’s about a father who works hard for his family, yet finds time to invent a new type of heater that could pull them out of the lower middle class. This poor man gets ass plowed by his vindictive boss when he …

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MOVIE REVIEW: Pictures Of Superheroes

In Movies by Some Jerk From Boston0 Comments

I understand how hard it is to make a movie, I really do. I’ve written my fair share of scripts, built up middling budgets, and had projects fall apart based on one night of liquor, pills, and drama (college was fun), so I fully support what writer/director Don Swaynos is trying to do with his life. I may not have …