Ah, Netflix. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways…
Below you will find my list of awesome horror movies currently streaming on Netflix. There are many more films available but I either have not seen them yet (Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer, Monster Squad) or I loathed them (VHS, Insidious 2, Paranormal Activity 2+). There are also a ton of great films listed under “Thriller” which seriously pisses me off (Rosemary’s Baby, Dead Zone). I’m sorry but Silence of the Lambs is a fucking HORROR film. Don’t discount it as such just because it won Academy Awards for Best Picture, Actor, Actress, Writing, and Director, people who organize films into categories on Netflix.
Before I get super angry and start Hulk-smashing my furniture, let’s get to the list, shall we? These are in no particular order except how I found them as I scrolled through the delectable options.
Nightmare On Elm Street (1984)
I talked about this in my Wes Craven article a few weeks ago. Not much more really needs to be said. The character of Freddy Krueger will forever be ingrained in the world’s collective psyche. We are all Freddy’s children.
Night Of The Living Dead (1968)
Yes, there were zombie films before George Romero got a hold of the trope but none have lingered with us like his original film. And any of us who have friends named Barbara will have a never ending source of amusement at her expense. FOREVER.
Two years before Sam Raimi produced the American remake, this Japanese film was scaring the crap out of audiences. Though I admit to liking the Sarah Michelle Gellar vehicle, the original still scares the bejeesus out of me. Trivia: the actress who plays Kayako (in both films) is a professional contortionist which is why I hang my skin on a coat rack during the stair crawling scene!
The Host (2006)
This South Korean film, though it takes a jab at the American military just a bit at the beginning, is a great piece of monster movie revival. When the disaster Godzilla (19j98) was loosed upon us, I worried the creature feature might die a slow painful death. But this flick brings in the campy fun of a giant monster running amok while still offering well-developed characters and motivations.
The Fly (1958)
Yes, Jeff Goldblum was awesome in the 1986 remake but the original Vincent Price film was so much more horrifying. The whole scare of atomic mutations was fresh in the minds of people everywhere. So when a technological advance goes horribly awry, the mutation presented to us – in TWO forms, no less – still makes me crap a little in my pants. “Help me…heeeelp meeeeee!”
The Exorcist (1973)
The ultimate Satan possession movie involving the innocent soul of young Regan (the girl, not the former actor/President). I don’t care what spiritual path you follow, if any, but the even the POSSIBILITY of one’s body being taken over by an entity that seems impossible to fight is absolutely terrifying.
Midian is where the monsters live and Boone, a human, goes to find them. That’s really all you need to know. Oh and that this is based on Clive Barker’s novel, Cabal, so be prepared to be freaked the fuck out. Maybe pee your pants a little. Perhaps get hot and bothered. Ah, Peloquin, you magnificent sexy red beast…
Repo: The Genetic Opera (2008)
A horror musical about a society where we take out loans for physical upgrades and when we can’t repay them the improvements are forcibly removed by a hooded Repo Man via hatchet and saw? Thank you, Terrence Zdunich and Darren Lynn Bousman. Thank you.
I think this is the first Jeffrey Combs movie I ever saw. A Lovecraftian spin on the Frankenstein mythos with a bit more camp and biting wit. And a talking severed head!
American Psycho (2000)
Christian Bale as the increasing out of control psychopath who keeps his murderous spree a secret, despite his efforts to get caught. There are some implications about society and excess and all the crap but if for no other reason, watch this film for the Huey Lewis and the News music scene.
Interview with the Vampire (1994)
Yes, we all know my affinity for vampires. And I adored this series of novels from Ann Rice (well, the first three for sure). When Tom Cruise was cast as Lestat, I was among the doubters. Oh yes, I was. But watching him play the lonely egomaniac who just wanted to be loved while ripping people’s throats out made me fall in love with him and this film while simultaneously making me want to punch Louis in the face.
Let the Right One In (2008)
This quiet surprising film from Sweden blew the socks off the vampire trope. Oskar and Eli are beautiful sad complicated characters that make us love them from minute one. And don’t worry. There’s lots of blood.
Ah, Billy Connolly. And even though he doesn’t speak with that beautiful brogue in this one, it is one of my favorites. Think NOLD had its way with Leave It To’s beaver and this film is the resulting hilarious offspring.
The Crow (1994)
Damn, I miss Brandon Lee. He didn’t have a huge repertoire when he left us but this gem has got to be his best. Good guy Eric Draven is brought back from the dead, via a crow, to avenge his and his fiancé’s deaths. Moving and heartbreaking film. “Building burn, people die, but real love is forever.”
Dead Snow (2009)
You’d think that zombie Nazi’s would be a little over the top but it really works! Norway brings us the hilarious adventure of a group of friends who, while on a ski trip, are attacked by Nazi’s who’ve returned from the dead to find their gold. I know, right?
Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)
I know, it’s got Christmas right there in the title. But this is about Jack, the Pumpkin King of Halloweentown (as opposed to Abe Froman, the Sausage King of Chicago), who discovers the back door into Christmastown and decides he can do as well as, if not better than, Santa at delivering Christmas joy into the homes and hearts of all children. As you might guess, all does NOT go according to plan.
Pet Sematary (1989)
A small town holds the dark and terrible secret to life after death. When the Creed family suffers a tragedy, that power rears its ugly head, and terrible price, all over their asses. This movie is a triple threat: creepy children, psychotic cats, and ancient Indian burial grounds. Plus the added bonus of the nightmare fuel that is Zelda. *shudder*
Hellraiser (1 & 2)
Twofer: I’ve included only the first two films because I feel they are the only ones worth watching. When you get to three and beyond, it just becomes a muddled clusterfuck. This franchise is paralyzing in its premise of a world just outside of our own, run by an S&M cabal that gets off on blood and chains and skin stripping, that can intrude into our plane through something so unassuming as a puzzle box. “No tears. It’s a waste of good suffering.”
Tales from the Darkside (1990)
This is one of my favorite anthology films. Lot 249, Cat from Hell, and Lover’s Vow each pack a lot of punch with interesting stories, great acting, not to mention power house actors. There’s even a nice intestine twist to the feels (I’m looking at you, Lover’s Vow). I completely invest myself in each story. Even the wrap around was rather engaging.
American Mary (2012)
I loved this movie so much that I dressed up as the main character for Motor City Comic Con. Mary is a medical student who delves into the world of underground surgeries, performing procedures that might otherwise be rejected as unethical or just plain freaky deaky by the rest of society. But as much as she alters her clients, it’s she who changes the most. If you like Katherine Isabelle (Gingersnaps), you’ve got to check this out.
Like I said, there are a lot more films available but you’ve got to have time to actually WATCH these beauties instead of just reading about them. So head on over to Netflix, pop some corn, and call work to tell them you won’t be in until November.