2013 was a great year for indie horror flicks. With distribution fully utilizing the internet and VOD systems we finally saw that horror can thrive outside of major theatrical release and be more than crappy straight to DVD quality we have become accustomed to. The best horror movies of the year and I don’t have to get off my couch!?!?! I must be dreaming! Now, if only my couch could produce stuff crust pizza….. I’m so lonely. Here’s the horror movies for 2014 I’m most excited for.
10. Zombeavers ( Release TBA)
Just when I thought they have played every angle possible with zombies “the powers that be” always seem to surprise me. Fucking beavers that are zombies! Pure genius! Super attractive douche bags, stuck in an isolated cabin, being stalked by undead beavers!?! I haven’t been this excited for a movie since Snakes on a Plane……. Yeah, that didn’t work out so great for any of us. I also dig that director Jordan Rubin decided to go with practical effects and give us old school puppets for the undead beavers. The release hasn’t been announced yet, but I can almost guarantee this bad boy is going the VOD route. Doesn’t feel like a wide release to me.
9. Deliver Us From Evil (Release July 2nd, 2014)
Sinister was proof that major studio’s can make badass horror flicks without James Wan. Scott Derrickson may not be a name amongst horror fans like Wan, but he should be. His follow-up to Sinister, Deliver Us From Evil, has all the ingredients for a badass flick: Eric Bana, demonic possession and nerd hottie Olivia Munn. No trailer for DUFE has been released yet, but I got a feeling this one is not to be missed. After the gut punch that was Sinister I am expecting a brutal ride here. No trailer is released as of yet, but here is a video of a monkey smelling his own butt:
When I was 12 years old I worshiped Kevin Smith. His movies were crude, funny and most important contained enough comic references to make my nerdy round self feel included. He introduced me to the world of dick and fart jokes and there was no going back. Mallrats, Clerks, Dogma and even Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back. All these movies played an important part in the man I would one day become ( I think I have just pinpointed where I went wrong….). Fast forward to Jersey Girl and I completely lost faith in the man. Sure Clerks II had some laughs and Zack and Miri had naked pornstars, but nothing close to connecting to that inner geek the way Smith did when I was 12 ( That’s right Silent Bob was inside the man at a very young age…..). The something glorious happened. Smith stumbled into the world of the horror with Red State. Honestly one of the best films the man has ever made and 2014 is bringing us yet another horror flick from Silent Bob. A serial killer who sews his victims into the carcasses of walruses and performs unspeakable acts on them. Sounds insane and honestly I can’t think of anyone else who could pull it off better than Smith. No trailer yet so here is a video of a fat kid falling:
7. The Guest (Release TBA)
Adam Wingard and Simon Barrett had a busy year in 2013 with the release of VHS-2 and the criminally under rated You’re Next. These two are fucking machines. Acting, writing, directing these guys are the very definition of “do it yourself” film making. They make movies because they love movies and it shows. The Guest has a vague synopsis and I’ve learned that is the best way to go into a Wingard/Barrett flick. All I know for sure is it’s going to be brutal. No trailer out yet so here’s a trailer for Poote Tang.
6. Horns (Release TBA)
I could give two shits about Harry Pooter (not a typo. I have the sense of humor of 12-year-old), but I’ll be damned if the guy doesn’t have chops. He rocked the shit in The Women in Black and let it all out in Kill Your Darlings. He’s proven himself as more than just a teenage wizard. Now take one of my favorite new authors, Joe Hill, and one of my favorite genre directors, Alexander Aja and you got an equation that makes my pants shorter. No trailer for this one either but we do have a clip!
5. Cooties ( Oct, 10th 2014)
Elijah Wood has become a genre regular. After his performance in last years Maniac remake I’m more than glad to have him in the family. His next foray into the world of horror is Cooties. A zombie kid flick written by Leigh Whannell (the writer of Saw and Insidious) that promises as much laughs as scares. I really can’t wait to see Elijah Wood killing kids. Now that makes for grade A entertainment. Surprise,surprise no trailer but I did find this cool interview with Wood and Allison Pill from Sundance Film Festival talk about the flick.
4. The Sacrament (May, 1st, 2014)
Eli Roth producing a cult movie directed by Ti West starring Joe Swanberg and AJ Bowen. If that mixed cocktail of horror names isn’t enough to excite you for a movie nothing will. West has mastered the art of the slow burn ( see House of the Devil and The Innkeepers) and I’m damn interested to see how he handles the found footage ( Yes, I know he directed a segment in V/H/S, but I’m talking feature-length). Fortunately, we won’t have to wait that long to find out. Check out this interview with Ti West and Eli Roth from TIFF talking up The Sacrament.
3. Dead Snow: Red VS Dead ( Feb 14th, 2014)
Picking up right where the last movie left off, Martin has cut off his own arm, accidentally stuck an axe in his girlfriends face and watched his closest friends be eaten by nazi zombies. Hell of a way to end a movie and even more fucked up way to start one-off. I got to hand it to director Tommy Wirkola coming back to his roots after his stint in Hollywood ( see Hanzel and Gretel Witch Hunters). Just by the trailer this flick looks about a thousand times more insane than the last one and Friday can’t come soon enough.
2. Cheap Thrills ( March 21st, 2014)
Now I’m not saying that I had anything to do with this movie or even know anyone involved with it, but it does feel like a birthday gift. Yes the release of Cheap Thrills is on my b-day. Is this a personal gift from director E.L. Katz? Not sure,but it sure feels like one. Out of all the movies on this list I think Cheap Thrills promises to be a flick that really sticks with you. Take a look at the trailer below and tell me that doesn’t promise to be a hell of a time.
1. Oculus (April 11th, 2014)
Mike Flanagan’s Oculus could possibly be this years Insidious. A quiet indie ghost flick that doesn’t rely on cheap jump scares and actually has something new to offer? Could be and I gotta tell you I’m really getting that vibe with this one. It also doesn’t hurt that Karen Gillan is starring in it and honestly I would pay to watch her kick me in the nuts.